“What makes you think your Thanksgiving turkey was sick?”
“He had a thermometer stuck in him.”
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“Did you borrow my toothpaste?”
“No, I don’t need any toothpaste. My teeth aren’t loose.”
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A pessimist is an optimist on his way home from the race track.
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Fishing is just a jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end
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A lot of people with photographic minds never had them developed